Insanity?

Big S and I are going to start Insanity tonight.
Which before you start thinking I'm about to dive into some super awkward over share about our personal lives after hours, I'll show you what exactly that is (if you don't already know):

Yeahhhhh.
So that's Insanity. I've actually wanted to do it since high school, but I'm cheap (it's $150) and terrified of this workout. You saw all those people panting and crying in a pool of their own sweat during the video? Yeah, that's me just watching the commercial...
But I've been reading review after review and everything is like, "Just kill yourself. Save yourself the time and just take a knife and stab yourself in all your muscles. Then take your abs and wring them out like a towel. THEN light your entire body on fire...BUT NOW I LOOK SO GOOD!"
And I'm just like, that sounds like a terrible, terrible idea. However, cutting off a few limbs would probably help me get back to my pre-pregnancy weight. But in the end, I WANNA LOOK SO GOOD!
And to be honest, I really don't want to have to work for my pre-pregnancy body. I'd much rather just get the flu or have a limb amputated than to have to actually try to lose this weight. But 7 weeks post-Rae, and like, 3 weeks from bathing suit season, it's time to get serious. No more day dreaming about getting a terrible stomach bug or a machine that will magically take 450 pounds off me (thats a bit generous, more like 465 pounds) and putting them on Big S.

So I'm going to blog about my progress every other week or so to keep myself accountable. And you guys better hold me to this too. If you could just text me saying "fatty" every few days or just send me pictures of Nicole Richie and Leslie Mann and tell me how disgusting of a person I am, that would be super helpful.
However, if you, like my mother, try to tell me that having a glass of wine every other night isn't going to help me lose weight I will punch you in the throat (I did not punch my mom in the throat when she said that, BTW.). A glass of wine is pretty much all I have to look forward to in life! It's my only hope in retaining sanity! Don't you take that from me.

We start tonight.
Wish me luck.
M